Who is my Heisenberg?

May 20, 2017 @ 6:29 a.m.

Who is my Heisenberg?

I have a mental illness. This is not something I chose. This is not something of which I am proud. This is not something I want any more than Walter White wanted to have cancer. But our earnest desires couldn’t save either of us from the painful truth.

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Zombies! They’re real! Run!

That's So Hagen

In some newer news, the CDC — which stands for Center for Disease … Cauliflower? I don’t really want to look it up — released their plan for the public on what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. And, if I may say, it’s good to see a governmental agency actually out there, doing what needs to be done to ensure our public safety …

Get A Kit,    Make A Plan, Be Prepared.

Wait, what? Zombies are real?! Excuse me; I’m leaving. Nothing personal, but I hope they eat you while you read this blog. Serves you right.

I wanted to take a quick look at how inadequate this list is, though. I’m not a genius in terms of zombie lore, and I kind of, sort of don’t completely trust those people who are, because zombie movies are intentionally scary and gory, and who enjoys being scared and gored? I may be a miserable…

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Fit Friturday: CTFO

the ampersandwich

The last two Fit Fridays, I have had to CTFO: Chill the F**k Out.

CTFO is a mantra in my anti-diet, pro-moderation, support group. It’s a veritable alphabet soup around there. Every weekend, members post photos and short posts of their DSS: Do-Something Saturdays, or their FF: Flex Fridays–sharing victories toward personal goals of movement and strength breaking free from the impossible standards of cultural beauty and fitness norms. We share NSVs (Non-scale victories) toward self-care, setting boundaries, meal-planning, taking up space. For those members who are on weight-loss or weight-gain journeys, there are SVs (scale victories). We ETF: Eat. The. Food. Freed (or progressively freeing) from the restriction and rules of disordered thinking, orthorexia, food-group restriction, and fad dieting of the culture around us.

And sometimes, we remind each other to Chill the Frick Out.

When do we CTFO? After an injury. When we’re sick. When we’re feeling…

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Beyond Acceptance is Hope 

Stuff nobody says

There are 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I think there is another stage and that, is hope.
Change and loss is a part of life and some are more adaptable to it than others. Grief is not only about death, but loss. Loss can be divorce, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, children moving away; the loss of anything that had become a part of an individual’s security.
Over the last 7 years, my life has been nearly in a constant state of change. It started with the re-emergence of an old love, the end of my marriage, the loss of my home and beginning of life as a single mom. For the most part, I handled it well. The old love that re-appeared again disappeared and I was again reliving the loss from 12 years ago. I managed to maintain…

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Saying Goodbye to Good Things

Loose Skin

On the Eve of my final night at a job I loved…
I wasn’t looking for a job when this one found me. I remember the initial meeting to discuss the idea of me making a change; I was nervous as heck, completely convinced that I was not- NOT going to be making any changes. I didn’t know what to expect.
The thought that someone asked me to come work for them? Humbling. Awesome. Exciting. Wow. The thought that it would be doing something that I’m not scholarly trained to do? Geesh.
I came in with a lot of heart, an open mind, and a lot of drive. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and since it was so new to our store, they weren’t positive either. We learned a lot together. 

On the Eve of our little one’s final night at a daycare we loved…

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2016 Gibson Firebird Pickups Part I

Let love be stronger

Here’s a thought for today that was inspired by someone I met the winter of 2016 while working at a homeless shelter in the Fargo-Moorhead Community:

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Culinary Adventures

HomeChefPicLike all of you, Facebook constantly inundates me with advertisements for all the things I need, don’t needs, or never even knew existed. However, one day as I was scrolling through the feed I saw an advertisement for this thing called Home Chef.

Now, normally I would just keep scrolling. But there was this picture of an amazing plate of food! If you’ve ever been with me to a restaurant, you know that when it comes to food, I am sold on the pictures. If there isn’t a tasty-looking well-plated meal in a fancy staged photograph, I’m not buying.

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Memorial to Dustin

13241682_10100635759416470_1854416226_o-1-1These past several nights you have been in my dreams. The dreams are joyful, hopeful, full of life – just like you. And then I wake up.

I wake up asking why are you gone? You’re supposed to still be here. There are people here who need you; your friends, your family, all those kids who called you “uncle.” We all still need you.

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Six Days Later

gu2DDYxJocelyn awoke surrounded by white light. It took a few blinks for her eyes to adjust. In the center of the surrounding whiteness was a dark figure. As it came into focus, she identified the figure as that of a man. Slowly, she began to make out his features.
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