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Waking Up with Depression and Anxiety, a play in one act. 

“ME: *turning off my alarm* Feeling pretty good about myself today!

DEPRESSION: Really? Did you forget about all the sad and/embarrassing things that have happened in your life? “

Rhymes with Atari

[CURTAIN RISES]

ME: *turning off my alarm* Feeling pretty good about myself today!

DEPRESSION: Really? Did you forget about all the sad and/embarrassing things that have happened in your life?

ME: No, I didn’t forget, I just-

DEPRESSION: Remember that time in ninth grade when someone wrote something mean about you in your friend’s yearbook?

ME: Well I’d rather not, but yes I do remember that. Thanks.

DEPRESSION: I could do this all day! In fact, I think I will. Remember back in high school when that friend of yours died? Remember that time at work when you made a mistake and everyone laughed at you?

ME: I remember. Please stop bringing these things up. There’s nothing I can do about them now except feel sad.

DEPRESSION: Maybe you should sit down and draw a cartoon or write something. That would make you feel better.

ME: That’s a good idea.

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NEVER GIVE UP!

cropped-813fcb42de776d2393f0472f564364f8When you trust God to do what He said He will do, you’re not only going to experience peace, I believe you’re going to live in the fulfillment of His promises in your life….

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Things I’m Afraid My Cats Will Someday Say To Me

img_0242.pngI don’t talk to my cats, because I’m not a crazy cat lady.  Okay, I do talk to my cats, but I’m still not a crazy cat lady because they don’t answer me.  In English.  Yet.  I worry that someday they will, though, and here are some of the things I’m afraid they might say to me:

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From Yazzeus

People come and go, this is how life is.
And I felt loved, with you, and everyone else
but you were my favorite temporary feeling.

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A post by Bella

Hello  dear readers! I am so grateful and deserving of this opportunity to finally address you as I dictate my words to the human. She is quite a good typist, but I am certain that if I had thumbs I would be much faster. I am faster than her at nearly everything – faster at falling asleep, faster at finishing my kibble, and faster at doing our respective morning routines.

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Like an elephant graveyard, but with less elephants and more cars

 

elephantcars.jpg

I’m sure there’s a perfectly boring explanation for the cars being here, but that didn’t stop me from imagining an epic Hollywood-style car chase which culminated in the drivers abandoning their vehicles here and fleeing in boats which they had stashed nearby.

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Why me?

“We shouldn’t change who we are but use our experience to help other people and (it may sound a bit narcissistic!) make the world a better place, shielded from the harm and devastation that narcissists are causing time after time.”

Pascale's Healing Journey

Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up. Charles M. Schulz

Why me? I know it may sound a bit whiny but I am sure I am not the only one who has asked myself this question in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. I mean, there must have been something wrong with me, surely. Otherwise, how could I have ever let myself be manipulated to such an extent and not even realise I was being manipulated?

I read a lot of books in my quest for an answer and it has left me with so many theories that my head is still spinning trying to decide which one applies.

  1. I am a co-dependent. According to Ross Rosenberg in his book The Human Magnet Syndrome, Co-dependents are attracted to people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and…

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Can’t Handle the Hustle

“I need to write. to make art. to teach, to change minds and ways of thought.”

the ampersandwich

I want to write. I want to make art.

No.

I need to write. to make art. to teach, to change minds and ways of thought. I crave input to generate output, but not in an industrial sense. I write better when I’m reading broadly, when I drink deep words and dream the books on my nightstand. I make better art when I hoard found objects and old books and bury myself in the work of James Castle and my former collaborator and artist-educator Troy Passey (both of Idaho).

My art, my writing, my teaching are a reflection of the world within and the world without.

and
I. Can. Not. Handle. the Hustle.

James Castle made books before bookbinding and bookmaking and altered books were a “thing.” My former elementary students (and some blind students within my school) made hand-stitched books last year, some of which have spent the last…

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Betrayal for an Introvert

“This is significant because I don’t let anyone in. I’ve been taken advantage of and for granted so many times, I tend to push everyone away, but I thought these people were my friends. They’d been watching my Facebook for years and, I, theirs. I believed they were in need of a kind heart and some hope and healing.”

Stuff nobody says

I honestly had no clue what to title this. I’m fairly quiet. I don’t open up to many people. I used to share too much on Facebook. Sometimes, I still do. I see many of you doing it too, and I won’t tell you to stop. I do believe in sharing of yourself and living your life out loud. That’s how you find your people. That’s how you learn you are not alone.

Perhaps I can blame the introvert in me, perhaps I can call myself stupid or naive, but I invited some people into my life and into my home. It was a grand total of 4 people over the last 2 years. One stayed a week, 2 stayed 2 weeks, 1 didn’t leave for 2 years.

The similar theme here, is that I believed all of them and wanted to help them. One was in a home with…

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You are Allowed

“In a go-go-go world, it’s easy to get caught up in a rough cycle that will eventually lead to breakdown. It’s important that we remember that the majority of people feel this way- that we are all “competing” for that “I’m the busiest person” trophy… and yet, you don’t win a prize for that.”

Loose Skin

Dear Self,

Sometimes you push too hard. You forget to take a break for fear of failure. You let those silly voices tell you that ‘you are not worthy of rejuvenation because the person next to you must be working harder. You have to keep going. Even allowing one hour or one evening of rest will undo all of your efforts. Get up. Get going. Keep going’.

Do you ever find yourself feeling this way? It might be at work, or at the gym, or at your place of residence… this overwhelming sense of guilt for daring to listen to your body and take care of yourself by breaking for a nap to to watch your favorite show or read a chapter in your book. I do- like, all the time. I found myself in this predicament last week. The previous week at work had been pretty crazy and…

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